· Photograph by Myles McCutcheon
Billy had a bigger grievance against him. He blamed Malcolm for making him buy the Lexus he couldn’t afford. Billy hadn’t intended to go high-end, but Forsythe’s smirking assumption that he couldn’t afford a luxury automobile had forced him into an impulsive leap over the brink. What’s more, to avoid Forsythe running a credit check, he had liquidated his measly fund of RRSPs so he could pay cash.
The very sight of Forsythe sent Billy fleeing for the clubhouse. There he received awful news from Herb Froese and his buddy Skip Jacobs. Forsythe would be playing with them today.
As usual, Forsythe rudely kept them all waiting until seconds before their start time. Billy piled onto Herb’s cart, making sure he wouldn’t have to ride with the horse’s patoot. On the first tee box, Forsythe said, “So, boys, who wants to lay some loose change and make this interesting?” Forsythe a seven-handicapper, was always trying to milk somebody who was half the player he was. Herb Froese had paid for Malcolm’s after-round drinks so many times, he flatly refused, and Skip frugally followed suit. Forsythe turned to Billy. “It’s just you and me, sport. Mano a mano? Stroke or match play?”
Billy took his time lighting a cigarette. “Match play is chicken shit. Let’s play skins. Carry money forward if we tie a hole.”
“How much?”
“Hundred a hole.” The look on Malcolm’s face, the awed silence that fell on Skip and Herb delighted Billy.
“Jesus,” said Forsythe. “So much for a friendly outing.”
“Money talks, bullshit walks,” said Billy, flamboyantly yanking his driver from the bag. He could sense the shrewd cogs turning in Forsythe’s mind. Reluctantly, Malcolm nodded. Billy had backed him into a corner, just as he had been backed into one over the Lexus.
Billy, a big hitter, always found the first hole, a 545-yard par five, extremely tasty. As he addressed the ball with his Big Bertha he heard Forsythe snidely remark, “That driver looks like a toaster on a stick.”
Billy lifted his head. “It’s legal.”
Canada & its place in the world. Published by
the non-profit charitable
Walrus Foundation
June 2012
The Walrus HOOPP Pension Debate
Be It Resolved That Canadians Are Incapable
of Saving for Their Retirement Needs Alone
12 pm, Wednesday, May 30 at
Hart House Debate Room, Toronto
The Walrus Glenbow Debate
Calgary’s Cowboy Culture:
Living Legacy or Just History?
6:30 pm, Thursday, June 7 at
Epcor Centre: Max Bell Theatre, Calgary