In the meantime, I’d say an $86-million opening weekend speaks for itself.

Ben: Any concerns the Kyoto Accord might lessen your impact?

Global Warming: Please. Even Canada looks like it’s getting off that bandwagon. Besides, the damage is already done: SUVs, drilling off the coast of Alaska, Iraq, Dick Cheney. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all been gravy.

Ben: And what about that Pentagon report suggesting climate change will lead to wars fought over “a desperate need for natural resources?” No worries there?

Global Warming: None, Ben. The Pentagon is too busy fighting a war aimed at expanding America’s access to fossil fuels. How seriously are they going to take a report that suggests they should be working to lessen that access?

Ben (hesitantly): Not very?

Global Warming: You’re a smart kid,

Ben. Harvard, right?

Ben: Duke, actually.

Global Warming: You should think about politics.